NewsLaugh Exclusive! Israel's Commendable But Costly Military Tactic: Make War As Make Nice
New York, NY (ContentDesk) August 14, 2006 -- In this weeks free issue, NewsLaugh.com, The Sanely Funny Weekly Humor Magazine, reports on Israels commendable but costly military tactic of "Make War As Make Nice."
style='text-decoration:none;color:#748DA7; font-size: 16px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold'>We will destroy you to the last man 
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Has a nation every conducted a war like the one Israel waged against Hezbollah? Instead of the usual "war is hell," it was more like an attempt to conduct war as make nice. Now that a cease fire is in place, fragile as it may be, let's review the tactic and how it weathered the war. Did we hear announcements from Israel anywhere remotely near "We will destroy you to the last man"? No, instead we heard niceties like: "& terrorist elements ... are using you as human shields by launching rockets toward the state of Israel from your homes." "All cars and vehicles of any type will be shelled if seen moving south of the Litani River because they will be considered suspect of transferring rockets, military ammunitions and those causing destruction." "You need to know that anyone moving in any type of car will put their life in danger." Leaflets have warned of a "painful and strong" response to attacks by Hezbollah and warned the residents of three suburbs in the south of Lebanon to evacuate. And, to make nice even more, Israel granted the Red Cross "freedom of movement" for its convoys, which have been providing aid to people in Lebanon.
Unfortunately, one of the collateral complications of Israels careful approach is the steady publicity of buildings blown up and civilians killed, instead of the usual major attack and, hopefully, a swift end of the conflict.
The effort was sort of like a dentist attempting to pull a tooth with his fingers, instead of using forceps.
So he pulls a little here and there, and every time the patient winces, he stops, until he and the patient give up, and the tooth is still stuck right where it was. Only it hurts even more than it did before all the effort.
For instance, Hassan Nasrallah emerged from his bunker and declared, amid the dead and rubble of his own country, of all things, victory.This humorous but pointed story is only one of the many ways readers can discover "Sanity Through Laughter" by going to NewsLaugh.com, created by humorist Tom Attea, which claims, "You cant change the news but you can laugh at it."Other sanely funny features in this weeks free issue include:
* Foiled Again! The Attack Of The Citizen Killers* Oil Update From BP:
A Bear Ate The Pipeline* PBS Fires Cinderella; Calls Display Of Bare Foot Scandalous * Joe Lieberman Loses Democratic Primary; Republicans Celebrate* New Survey: Americans Not As Polarized As Politicians And NewscastersReaders can also laugh out loud at NewsLaugh's weekly fictional spoof.
This week the magazine presents "Al-Qaeda In Hell, Or Allah's Surprising Ingratitude," in which suicide bombers, to their pain and dismay, find themselves, not in the heaven of their misguided hopes, but in the hell of their unexpected destiny, to which Allah and Mohammed have both sent them.
Their punishment for eternity is to take eight flights a day on which they must blow themselves up, and their only consolation is that someday the maniac who misled them into thinking Allah would welcome them to heaven for their murderous behavior, Osama Bin Laden, will be condemned to join them in their painfully blistered destiny.Readers may also subscribe to NewLaugh's free weekly newsletter for exclusive laughs and offers.Each week, NewsLaugh.com presents humorous weekly articles under such headings as Sanely Funny Cover Story, Dreadline of the Week, Shreditorial, Washington Spin Din, Clever Monkey of the Week, and a Spoof of the Week.About Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com:Mr. Attea has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his comedy writing, "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs."He was awarded a grant as a playwright by New Yorks Theater For The New City and co-wrote the first feature film Showtime produced.He has extensive experience in news media.
He wrote the recent campaign for The New York Sun, New Yorks new broadsheet newspaper, "Illuminate Your World," the classic campaign for Time Magazine, "Theres never been a greater need for understanding," and the long-running theme for The Village Voice, "In this city, you need a Voice." In broadcast media, he wrote the advertising that successfully introduced Lifetime television, "Theres nothing like a womans Lifetime," and oversaw all the advertising for WABC TV and radio in New York.The complete issue is available at www.newslaugh.comFor more information, email haha @ newslaugh.comTom AtteaCreator & WriterNewslaugh.ComVisit the SiteTelephone: 212-769-4545Disclaimer: If you have any questions regarding information in these press releases please contact the company listed in the press release..
FRAX or FICTION ????
May 18, 2005 -- Dr. Grant Stevens of Marina Plastic Surgery is one of the first plastic surgeons in the Los Angeles area to begin a new laser technology, the Fraxel? Laser Treatment. Known for his unrivaled reputation in treating patients from all around the world with new and emerging cosmetic therapies, Dr. Stevens is thrilled by his results with Fraxel? Laser Treatments on both male and female clients.
At a time when consumers value their time, the Fraxel? Laser can improve their appearance, without that unwanted lengthy recovery period, and without significant surgical expenses.
"Many of my patients who want to improve themselves shun the idea of having surgery with weeks and weeks of recovery time before they see results," explains Dr. Stevens.
"What makes Fraxel? Laser Treatments so appealing to these patients is that they can achieve results comparable to an invasive surgical procedure, but without the lengthy downtime or potential risks."
The...
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Girls Gone MILD
Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many people confused about values, virtues and life. What voices are calling out to you and what voices are you listening to? My daughter is just now enjoying her first year in life. As I listen to the voices calling out to young ladies these days, I can't help but wonder what the popular trend will be when she has to decide which voices she will lend an ear to.As she enters young adulthood, I hope this is what she finds.I hope the popular trend of the day is a video craze called, "Girls Gone MILD!" No, that's not a misprint!I hope it is popular because it depicts women in the following ways:* As more than full-of-brandy eye candy and toys-for-boys* As pillars in the community instead of pillows for the community* As being more concerned about innocence lost than being "not that innocent"* As valuing their bodies and it shows by how they use them instead of showing them using their bodies to be valued* As valuing being wanted for...
Girls Gone MILD
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Distance Learning Web Site Enables You to Get College Credit Online for What You Already Know
(ContentDesk via PressReleaseHelp) April 5, 2005 ?- Degree.com, a leading online resource for distance learning degrees, is now offering for free its $200 program teaching people how to get college credit for what they already know. "This is the best kept secret in higher education today," said Sheila Ring, spokesperson for Degree.com. "Our site now has everything...
Distance Learning Web Site Enables You to Get College Credit Online for What You Already Know credit report
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Christmas Cookie Decorating 101
Many bakers ask for tips and instructions on decorating cookies. Well that's a tall order because there are as many ways to decorate cookies as there are cookies! Here are a few guidelines for novices and experienced bakers alike to help you generate your own ideas for cooking decorating. DECORATING COOKIES BEFORE BAKINGCookies can be decorated before baking with materials that withstand the heat of baking. Some things that you can place on your cookies before baking are:
- colored sugars...
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A Debt Consolidation Loan For Those With Bad Credit Call 800 300 2040
Many people contact us when they are 30, 60 and 90 days in their mortgage payments. If they are this late with their house payment they are generally behind with the car and have several credits cards that are maxed out. A simple debt consolidation loan would take of all these troubles. By using the equity in your home all the debts would be paid off and you are left with a clean slate and generally spending less money every month.For more information please go to:
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